Chapter 46: Look at Me (2)

What is love?

It was a slightly embarrassing question.

However, for Siel, it was an incredibly serious matter.

Every action she took stemmed from that love.

Siel lay on the bed, lost in thought. Normally, she wouldn’t be troubled by such things.

It was only natural.

Above all, she knew the correct and beautiful form of love.

Pure love.

The love her mother had given her.

A love that dedicates everything to the other,

A love where you can gladly burn yourself for the sake of the other.

She grew up receiving that kind of love.

Therefore, her form of love couldn’t help but be similar.

She gave half of her soul to that ominous wolf.

To save the one she loved.

Even when that girl named Lien suddenly appeared,

Even when that person named Rubia, who didn’t even revere the captain, kept getting entangled with him,

And just now.

Even when that nameless slave girl enjoyed the luxury of receiving a new name from the captain while being petted.

She never said a word.

She never expressed any dissatisfaction.

Of course, because it was all good for Ian.

If she truly care for Ian, accepting it was the right thing to do. She shouldn’t prioritize her feelings over those of the one she love.


Then, why are these feelings emerging?

Why do these negative emotions arise?

Every time such things happened, why did something squirm in her chest? Why did her heart throb so painfully?

She couldn’t understand it.

‘This is strange.’

She loves Ian.

She definitely does. Then, she should be satisfied as long as he is happy.

Strange thoughts kept creeping into her mind.

Even though she knew she shouldn’t, ugly emotions boiled within her.


It was when she was having those thoughts that she sensed the wolf’s presence after a long time.

[Blood is blood, after all.]

The wolf said, with a meaningful smile.

“Shut up.”

However, Siel did not question the wolf’s cryptic words.

Of course, she was thinking about Ian right now.

She was thinking about the one she loved. She had no time to listen to the voice of such an insignificant being.


[If you're going to grumble about that, you shouldn't have made the contract in the first place, kid.]

The wolf said, with a hateful smile.

[Did you really think you could give up half of your soul without paying any price?]

There was a reason people were reluctant to offer their souls to a demon.

Half of a soul.

As long as you don’t cross that line, your soul won’t be bound to the demon after death.

There wouldn’t be any side effects like temporarily losing control of your body to the demon.

However, despite this, making a contract with a demon is still highly undesirable.

Giving up half of your soul means that the demon’s influence on your mind increases by that much.

Especially, the higher the demon’s rank, the stronger the influence.

Once you start listening to the demon’s whispers, that’s the end.

There’s a reason high-ranking demons often demand half of a soul as the price.

While the human making the contract thinks their soul hasn’t been entirely given over yet, it’s also the point at which the demon can almost certainly seduce the human.

That is the significance of giving up half of your soul.

[You should be grateful to me, kid.]


[I'm not trying to seduce you because I know. I know that someday, when that Ian guy is in danger, you'll give me anything.]

“Shut up.”

A cold reply came back again.

However, the wolf continued to chatter on.

In fact, it said it would even lend a hand if that captain destroyed that detestable empire.

Especially if they kill that despicable emperor, it said it would gladly return her soul.

He continued to spew those nonsensical words.

The wolf, always cheerfully smiling, became especially fierce and noisier when talking about the emperor.

It was at that moment, with Siel covering her ears.

[If you blatantly ignore me, even I would feel hurt.]

With those words, Ian appeared before Siel.

No, that wasn’t Ian.

That expression, that tone, that gesture.

Siel remembered it all.

She could tell that this was not Ian, but the wolf taking on Ian’s appearance.

In that unpleasant situation,

Siel’s face became colder than ever.

[How curious. I thought none of your succubus instincts remained. But seeing you cling like this, maybe that's not the case.]

A hybrid of a demon and an elf. The only one of its kind in the world, unpredictable, the wolf said, smiling again with Ian’s face.

“Who are you to take on that form?”

Her words were filled with killing intent.

However, the wolf’s reaction was calm.

[You are strangely obsessed with this person.]

As he said this, the wolf slowly approached Siel.

[In that case, why don’t you just take him?]


[If you love him so much, you should own everything about him. With your power, it should be possible.]

“That is...”

The stoic child was showing signs of agitation.

A smile spread across the wolf’s face.

Until now, he hadn’t interfered.

He was too busy watching the situation unfold interestingly.

Also, meddling with this child would incur hostility from that captain.

A being whose true nature even he couldn’t fathom.

He didn’t want to turn such a being into an enemy.

It was more beneficial to cooperate and achieve mutual goals.


‘Well, a little amusement wouldn’t hurt.’

This wasn’t even a bad deed.

After all, humans are inherently beasts.

By shedding formalities and embracing their animalistic instincts, they could find happiness.

In a way, it could even be considered a gift.

So, the wolf smiled slyly, looking at Siel.

In her unstable state,

Just a little nudge would awaken her instincts.

What needed to be done was simple.

Just a slight push on her back.


Siel walked down the mansion’s hallway.

It was midnight.

Moonlight streamed in through the windows.

No one else was awake.

Only Siel walked leisurely towards her destination.

Her head was spinning.

She couldn’t clearly remember what she had been doing until a moment ago.

She had simply opened her eyes to find herself wandering the halls.

However, she instinctively knew what she needed to do now.

Siel moved forward slowly. The headache hadn’t subsided, but there was no way she could mistake where her beloved was.


Siel carefully opened the door.

The sight of a man sleeping peacefully met her eyes.

Ian was asleep, completely defenseless.

Siel climbed onto the bed as if in a trance.

‘What am I doing?’

She couldn’t understand.

She couldn’t comprehend why she was doing this.

But, she knew exactly what she wanted to do.

She wanted to possess him.

She didn’t want to yield him to anyone.

The other person’s will didn’t matter.

It didn’t matter what means she had to use.

She just wanted to have everything about him.

She wanted him to look at her, only at her.

Those feelings surged within her.

At that moment, as Siel let her instincts take over and reached out to Ian.

Nothing particularly special happened.

Ian merely smiled faintly in his sleep, perhaps because her touch tickled him.

However, Siel stared blankly at that sight.

‘If I go further…’

If she went just a bit further,

She could surely possess this man.

It’s not a difficult task.

According to the wolf, while Ian’s soul might be superior, Siel had the upper hand in strength.

She could subdue him.

She could command him to do anything.

She could make him hers.

But if she did that, would she ever see that smile again?

If she forced him to smile, he would surely do so. The result would be the same.

So, it seemed more rational and convenient to possess him.

It was far better to own him.

Yet, despite this...

‘I hate it.’

She hated it.

It felt wrong.

She didn’t want that.

There was no value in it.

‘I want you to look at me.’

There was no meaning in forcing it.

The significance lay in him looking at her on his own.


She couldn’t do this.


Her dizzy mind began to clear.

Her confused heart became clear again.

She looked at the man in front of her once more. The man sleeping peacefully, unaware of anything.

“Now I understand. I know why I was feeling these emotions.”

The strange thoughts she had been having lately.

She thought she was broken.

She thought there was something wrong with her mind.

But the answer was very simple.

Ridiculously simple.

It seemed she was more greedy than she thought.

Just giving love like her mother wasn’t enough for her.

So, after all...

“I think I want to be loved by you.”

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