Chapter 10

[Notice No. 666]

〈Happy World Department of Punishment Enforcement – Team 4 New Recruitment Notice〉

Our department is severely understaffed.

To resolve this issue, we are now recruiting new talent as follows:

Positions Open

Team 4 Admin Staff – Department of Punishment Enforcement

General Office Assistant

Preferred Candidates

Inexperienced individuals, unemployed souls, or anyone with a questionable background

Special preference for Nymphs — automatic acceptance at the document screening stage

Requirements

No restrictions based on past (or afterlife) experience

Contact

Joy, Manager, Team 4, Department of Punishment Enforcement

Perfect.

I grinned at the freshly printed job notice, feeling genuinely proud for once.

A job post that welcomes the unemployed, rejects, and people with disqualifications?

A masterpiece of terrible hiring policy.

There’s no way anyone hired through this would be even remotely competent.

Inevitably, they’ll cause problems, and questions will be raised about my management skills.

HQ’s Inspection Division is bound to notice this reckless hiring decision.

Then, boom—fired.

And off I go to my dream job in Olympus.

“Excellent. Excellent.”

“Jouji!” “Jouji!”

Even the super-hell cockroaches fluttering their wings inside my office seemed to chirp their approval.

Soon, I’d say goodbye to them too.

Truly, a flawless plan.

Especially that golden line:

“Special preference for Nymphs – automatic acceptance.”

Why nymphs?

Simple: because of Vice President Melinoe herself.

For some unknown reason, she hates nymphs.

If I start hiring them en masse, surely her opinion of me will drop.

She must’ve taken a liking to me lately—probably thinks I’m some hyper-competent employee.

And that’s the problem.

Attracting the attention of the goddess of nightmares is basically a death sentence.

You never know when or how you’ll die, and even after death, she might turn you into a constellation as a trophy.

The only relief was that I hadn’t seen her since she gave me her 《Blessing》.

Rumor had it she hadn’t shown up to work for half a month.

「Anon: Is it true Princess Melinoe hasn’t been to work in like, 15 days??」

└ I’m in the secretary team, it’s true lol. Been chill as hell lately.

└ Say it right. It’s not that she didn’t show up—it’s that the company failed to show up to her.

└ LMAO she’s the CEO’s daughter, that checks out.

This magical mirror-like thing showing all this gossip?

That’s HelmesNet, an intranet exclusive to Soul Society managers and up.

A modern collaboration between the Celestial Messenger Hermes and the Soul Society’s “CSO.”

Now that I was a manager, I spent my post-work hours idly browsing HelmesNet.

Sometimes I even posted.

「Anon: Let’s be real. Manager Joy from Enforcement Team 4 is overhyped.」

「Anon: How do you become a manager in less than 2 years? Obvious favoritism or cheating.」

It was surprisingly fun to troll myself online.

I was trying to tank my own reputation a bit.

But the replies under those posts made me clench my jaw:

└SweetRevenge: 10-day comment ban for trolling.

└Anon: Damn. HQ really doing work these days. Respect!

└Anon: That guy’s just a Helpy troll. All he does is badmouth Joy.

Seriously?

A 10-day ban?

How frustrating.

But it was fine.

These days, I had a relaxing hobby: gardening.

“Time to water the plants.”

I stood up and gave a drink to the potted plant in the corner of my office.

Drip drip drip—

─Zzzuing! Zzzuing!

The plant I was watering was known as a Cerberus Cactus, or Hell Cactus

.

It split into three branches like the heads of the underworld hound—cute, in a terrifying sort of way.

It made weird noises, but you get used to it.

“Bought you guys on HelmesNet. You’re the only ones I can count on to not surprise me.”

Plants are peaceful, consistent, and rarely unpredictable.

They never cause chaos or go rogue.

And when they bloom, their flowers smell nice—and their fruit makes good liquor. Win-win.

That blessing from old man Chronos is turning out to be useful.

My previous experience taking care of orchids under a professor during my grad school years, combined with Chronos’s 《Cultivation》 blessing, was helping me nurture even the fussiest nether-plants.

When this cactus bears fruit, I’ll let Chronos have a taste.

Of course, cacti aren’t exactly fruit-bearing plants.

If I want fruit, I should go with grapes or pomegranates.

“Maybe it’s time to grow some other seedlings too.”

I licked my lips as I eyed the empty corners of my office for potential new pots.

Where could I get good seeds or sprouts?

Back to HelmesNet.

「Plant Gallery」

「A safe space for plant lovers~ ^^」

Admin – Chicoretta

“Oh…?”

Didn’t know this site existed.

Too bad I was banned from posting for 10 days. I couldn’t even do the mandatory intro post to get full access.

Guess I’d just have to wait it out.

At least I had something to look forward to.

Honestly, my daily life was too happy lately, and I needed hobbies like this just to stay sane.

***

“─Ahh, I wasn’t going to show this in a place like this… but fine. I can use Bankai. Watch closely, and don’t tell anyone!”

KABOOOM—!

“Hyaaah! Bankai! Dragon-Ghost-Spine-Punch! HAAHH! See? My nunchucks turned into giant blades—!”

“Next! You’re in the wrong universe, pal!”

I rejected the bald applicant.

Next to me, Markius frowned, clearly puzzled.

“Manager Joy, why’d you turn that guy down? That Bankai move looked pretty useful. Especially with all the recent security incidents…”

He had a point—the guy’s display was impressive.

Which is exactly the problem.

I didn’t post this job opening to hire talented people like that.

Experience? Not required!

Criminal record? Great!

I clearly stated we were hiring bottom-tier rejects, so how were these overpowered types even applying?

Markius, of course, misunderstood my silence and nodded, admiringly.

“Well, I guess it’s no surprise. You did find the perfect plot of land for that picky Chronos. Your judgment’s top-tier. Probably the best in Happy World. No wonder all the talent’s flocking to you.”

“…Markius. What did you just say?”

“Uh, that the Bankai was impressive?”

“No! Before that. Why are the applicants flocking to me?!”

“Ah, that? It’s because of the whole Sisyphus and Chronos situation. Joy, your name is now famous across all of Happy World. Especially since Chronos surrendered to you and now spends his days farming.”

…Wait a minute.

This is spiraling completely out of control again.

I pulled my robe deep over my head and headed toward the interview waiting room, where a long line had already formed.

I decided to eavesdrop on what the applicants were talking about.

“Do you think it’s real? That they really welcome the unemployed and the unqualified? Could someone like me actually have a chance?”

“It means they’re only looking at talent and potential. My heart’s racing just thinking about it.”

“This is the man who made Sisyphus yield. The same one with the legendary eye for talent that impressed even Chronos. Being hired by someone like that…”

“…is practically proof that you’re special.”

The tension was thick.

Powerful-looking applicants were eyeing each other like warriors before a duel.

So basically, my job posting had become a beacon summoning hidden masters from the shadows, all hoping to be acknowledged.

This is bad.

Really bad.

“Hey, you with the Bankai! How about joining the security team? With all the enforcement gaps since the restructure, we’re in desperate need of people like you!”

“And you, darling—come to our wardrobe department! With limbs like yours, you’d be perfect for modeling the latest looks! Ohohoho~”

Now other departments were poaching my applicants like storks snatching fish out of the sea.

Markius, the bandit-faced goon beside me, watched in awe.

“Don’t tell me… You made this big public recruitment effort just to help the other departments out? And those provocative job descriptions—you wrote them to draw out hidden talents, didn’t you?”

“…No.”

“Wow! Already looking out for the needs of other departments now that you’re a manager? You devil! You demon obsessed with promotion! I’m proud to call you my peer!”

No, I didn’t!

I don’t know what’s happening anymore, but one thing’s certain:

The longer this recruitment drags on, the worse it is for me.

I had to end this chaos now.

And there was only one way:

Pick the most hopeless-looking applicant in the room and hire them on the spot.

But how was I supposed to pick the worst out of a crowd this big?

I went with the safest bet.

“You there.”

“…Y-you mean me?”

Startled, a black-haired girl peeked up.

She was hunched down between towering figures, looking incredibly out of place.

Honestly, “girl” might be a stretch—she looked more like an elementary schooler.

“…Did you just call me…?”

A strange girl with long black hair and glowing red eyes.

She looked about ten or eleven, maybe.

And the pointy ears sticking out of her hair were unmistakable.

A Nymph.

A species from Greek myth—nature spirits that dwell in forests, rivers, and oceans.

Usually, the ones I’ve seen are mature, seductive, elegant types…

So why did this one look like a lost middle schooler?

Not important.

Her being a nymph was all that mattered.

And I hate nymphs.

“Congratulations. You’re our new administrative hire.”

Yes. I hired the nymph I hate.

Why?

Because while it’s hard to identify an incompetent worker at a glance,

I can confidently identify someone who Vice President Melinoe will absolutely hate.

And Melinoe hates nymphs.

Hiring a nymph would surely tank her opinion of me.

Plus, this one looked completely clueless—probably terrible at her job.

Perfect.

“Y-you’re really hiring me…?! Are my ears deceiving me…?! What discerning eyes you have…! Someday, when I rise to rule this underworld, I shall make you my right-hand!”

Ruling the underworld? Right-hand man?

What’s with this dramatic speech?

The more I hear, the more my head hurts.

Which, ironically, just proves I made the right choice.

“Are you truly saying that you’re hiring me into Happy World? If this is a lie, I shall not forgive you…!”

What a headache.

I feel like if I don’t lock her down now, she’ll flip the script and refuse the job.

This one’s a keeper.

“It’s no lie. I swear upon the River Styx. You are our new employee. That concludes our recruitment round—everyone else may now leave. Dismissed!”

I couldn’t let more hidden talents show up.

The nymph began trembling like she had a cold.

“S-so it is true! As expected, this Melinoe foresaw this moment…! For I, the great Melinoe, am a truly exceptional nymph!”

Wait—hold on.

…What did she just say her name was?

“Pleased to make your acquaintance! I, Melinoe, shall one day rise to the very top of Soul Society! Without relying on anyone! Through my power alone!”

“………”

A wave of dread washed over me.

Surely this was just a coincidence.

Right…?