Chapter 19
“Joy, you really do like me, don’t you?”
…Ehhhhh?!
I couldn’t keep up with the flow of this conversation.
This was divine-level dialogue, beyond mortal logic.
I’d intentionally described my ideal type as the complete opposite of Lady Melinoe.
How did she arrive at that conclusion?
Surely, it must be some heavenly-level algorithm that ordinary mortals like me can’t
comprehend.
“Joy, I know you keep pushing yourself—taking on hard missions, chasing promotions. I know it’s all for me. But I’m a goddess. And you… you’re a mortal. We can never be together so easily.”
“…I’m sorry, what…!?”
“If you truly want to stand beside me, you’d need to reach at least executive level.”
My vision went white.
She wanted me, who just wanted to be fired or quit, to aim for an executive seat?!
“Of course, for a mortal to become an executive is nearly impossible. You’d have to confront that irritating Zagreus, maybe even go up against the terrifying CEO (「CEO」).”
She’s saying I might have to go up against Zagreus, the most powerful figure in Soul Society… and even the CEO (「CEO」), whose name alone gives people nightmares?!
Clearly, Princess Melinoe had misunderstood something.
I had to clear this up immediately.
“Um… Lady Melinoe, with all due respect, I—”
I don’t like you—was what I was trying to say.
But my lips froze.
You know those moments when your instincts scream that something is very wrong?
This was one of those times.
What happens if I tell a goddess I don’t like her—after spending the night in the same room?
“You dare scorn a goddess’s heart? You want to suffer? A truly grotesque punishment perhaps…?”
I’ll be murdered.
And not just murdered—I’ll be torn apart.
And if I die here, I won’t be reborn.
I’ll rot forever in Tartarus.
Maybe she’ll trap me in a prison cell filled with hell-roaches.
The thought alone soaked my underwear in cold sweat.
Was I dreaming with my eyes open?
Possibly.
Welcome to What-the-Happy-World.
But as the Greeks say… There is a time for everything.
Even in despair, a sliver of opportunity will come.
“Lady Melinoe, truth is… from the moment I met you, I fell for you at first sight.
Please… have mercy on this foolish man who dared fall in love with a goddess he can never have…”
“I knew it.”
Saying I liked her seemed safer than rejecting her.
I’d ride the flow—for now—and show her how disappointing I could be later.
Then maybe she’d say:
“Joy, you turned out to be such a disappointment. You’re fired.”
That was the strategy.
It was honestly brilliant.
“Joy, I don’t blame you. I’m flawless. Of course you fell in love. Like bees drawn to honey.”
“…Right.”
“But I ask one thing: keep your love for me a secret. Some executives might not like a mortal aiming for a goddess’s side.”
“Of course. The wisdom of Lady Melinoe is as vast and deep as Happy World itself.”
“And I won’t give you special treatment. Don’t take it personally. As Vice President of Happy World, I must remain fair and impartial.”
“Absolutely. You’re surely on your way to claiming the CEO’s throne.
If it ever gets out that you favored a staffer… it could cause a scandal.”
Right now, I felt like the god of opportunity had finally revealed his forehead.
I had to grab it.
“Please, treat me like a stranger at work. Pretend I don’t exist.
Just this fleeting moment speaking with you… is enough to last me a lifetime!”
Sniff—
I even squeezed out a tear, like someone truly moved to the core.
Lady Melinoe’s ruby-colored eyes shimmered as she trembled slightly.
“Even so, it would be unkind for a mature goddess to abandon a devotee who worships her so earnestly.”
“No, really—feel free to abandon me.”
“Then I’ll give you a little tip.
The ‘Corporate Renewal’ project was rushed—there are gaps everywhere.
Zagreus isn’t as meticulous as he looks.
Bite him. A lot of good crumbs will fall your way.”
She gave me a few light taps on the shoulder.
“Also, stop eating things like honey candy. I’ll throw it out on my way out.
It’s stuff like that that brings Manager-level roaches into your house.”
***
“Section Chief Joy, why the pale face? You look like a dead man!
Not that I’m one to talk—being a literal corpse and all—but you’re still young and alive! Smile a little!”
Click-clack.
That was Chief Bones, gnashing his teeth cheerily as he walked into my office to give me a pep talk.
Like that was going to help.
“Woman trouble, I assume?”
“…Excuse me?”
“Come now, it’s about that time for you.
You’re a Section Chief now, moved into a bigger home.
Your ribs must feel lonely—that means it’s time for love.”
I wasn’t necessarily looking for love…
But he was absolutely right—it was woman trouble.
Maybe Chief Bones didn’t bluff his way into his position after all.
“Is it… Kshalri, Krates’sKrates wife?”
“WHAAAT!?”
“Rumor has it you’ve been visiting her flower shop frequently.”
I mean… yes, I had.
But only to buy hell cacti and hell mint.
Do I see her as a woman?
Absolutely not!
I’m not the kind of guy who hits on someone else’s wife!
I mean… sure, she’s beautiful. Strong. Kind.
“……”
Suddenly, I felt irrationally furious at KratesKrates.
Next time I see him, I will punch him.
“Back in my day, women used to chase after me too.
Ah, those were the days.
Joy, cherish your youth. Oh—and here’s your promotion gift.”
Chief Bones quietly slipped out of the room, eyes glowing a soft blue.
He left behind a vintage-looking fountain pen.
It looked… expensive.
“Ah—!”
Just then, a brilliant idea struck me.
“Since it’s come to this, what if I use this promotion to collect gifts from my coworkers? Maybe it’ll tank my reputation.”
Ahem—
I walked into the bustling office and cleared my throat loudly.
“As a newly promoted Section Chief, I’d like to graciously accept tokens of appreciation.
Depending on what’s offered, I could be an angel… or a devil. Ahem.”
A subtle—yet very blatant—request for bribes.
Everyone exchanged awkward glances.
“Actually, we were wondering when you’d bring it up.”
“As expected of Joy, the man who rose to Section Chief at record speed! So sharp!”
“Congrats on your promotion! We were saving our gifts for the surprise party!”
“Take it! Take it! You’re the hero who saved us from the audit team!”
CRASH!
Suddenly, a flood of gifts came pouring in.
It was as if they’d been waiting for the signal.
Even I was taken aback.
“So this is what happens when you make Section Chief!”
“Damn it, now I want a promotion too!”
“Let’s work harder!”
“No more overtime! Let’s focus during office hours!”
Not only were they not disappointed in me—
They were too motivated.
This was the complete opposite of what I intended.
So I switched tactics.
What if I refused their gifts?
Maybe they’d think I was being uptight.
Maybe it’d lower my reputation?
“I won’t accept any of this. Please take your gifts back.”
“Section Chief Joy! What a righteous man you are!”
“Truly admirable! Even I,Markius, approve!”
“That’s the kind of integrity that makes an employee truly exceptional.”
“Even more reason to respect him!”
I didn’t even have the strength to be annoyed anymore.
I needed to escape.
“Section Chief Joy is out on another mission!”
“He’s fabricating results just to rack up achievements!”
“This man is obsessed with promotion!”
“Why does he work so hard?!”
“Rumor says the woman he’s aiming for is Mel—”
The second I stepped outside, I was greeted by a beautiful day.
The sun sparkled above—
No doubt thanks to Sisyphus, who was unnecessarily rolling boulders again to keep the fake sun shining.
How did it come to this…?
My legs led me, unbidden, to the one place of peace I had left.
Happy Flower—a little flower shop filled with tiny blooms.
Inside, KratesKrates was tending flowers when he spotted me… and froze.
“Agh—S-Section Chief Joy! Are you here to spy on me again?!”
Krates?
You think I want to look at you?
“I came to buy a cactus.”
Just then, Kshalri appeared between the flowers, smiling brightly.
“Oh my, Section Chief! You’re here again.
I’m afraid we’re all out of cacti today. They’ve been so popular lately—hoho.”
“Wait, cacti are popular now?”
“It’s in today’s paper.”
“The Incredible Benefits of Hell Cactus Revealed!”
“Improves memory, boosts stamina, enhances love luck—”
“A top trend among upper-class women of Elysium?!”
“The rare yellow-blooming cactus is now a luxury collector’s item!”
“Some propose renaming it to ‘Happy Cactus’!”
…What the hell is this.
***
E&S, the hottest idol group in Elysium, was about to hold a concert at the city’s largest stadium.
Producer Arachne, who organized the event, was in a full-blown crisis.
“What do you mean you can’t sing?!
Euriole, you’re the main vocalist!
The executives will be attending in person! You have to sing—even if you die doing it!
Not that it matters—we’re all dead already!!”
In Soul Society, executives were notoriously hard to please.
But if you did manage to impress them, success was practically guaranteed.
That’s why Arachne pulled out all the stops.
Budget, effort, networking—she did it all.
Even secured a personal visit from upper management.
But just days before the show…
Euriole threw a tantrum.
“I need flowers. Rare, delicate flowers.
Something beautiful… yet sharp.
A paradox—elegant, but covered in thorns.”
“What about these roses? Imported from Earth—super hard to get! Pretty and thorny, right?!”
“No. They don’t hit.”
Artists.
Sometimes worse than executives.
They lived for inspiration—
And Euriole was one of the most fickle artists of them all.
“Ugh. His voice is god-tier. We wouldn’t have made it this far without him…”
But if he boycotted the stage?
Executives would be furious.
One mistake, and Arachne could be demoted straight down to Happy World.
“I worked so hard to reach Elysium! I even got into a brand-new apartment!”
Left with no choice, she scoured the realm for a rare, delicate flower that might please Euriole.
And then—
She spotted the article:
“The Incredible Benefits of Hell Cactus!”
“The yellow-flowering cactus is especially rare and prized—”
“Cactus… thorns… flowers…?! Excuse me, shopkeeper! Where can I find one of these yellow-flowering cacti?!”
“You can’t. There’s no stock. Limited supply.
Section Chief Joy bought up most of it. Try asking him.”
“…Section Chief Joy? Who’s that?”
“He’s a very well-known man in Happy World.
But be careful. I hear terrifying things about him…”
Terrifying?
But Arachne feared executive wrath more than any mortal rumor.
And so—she headed straight for Happy World.
“If this goes well, I can charm the execs no problem.
And Joy—he’s just another staffer.
If he wants a good review, he’ll cooperate. Easy.”
That’s what she thought.
Until she arrived.
Joy’s house was covered in… torture devices.
Gulping nervously, she knocked.
“Who are you?”
“EEK!!”
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