Chapter 34
“……”
Was I seeing things?
I was just about to head out for work when I saw it—a massive cockroach lying in front of my house. The thing was as big as my torso.
—Zzzzzzzzzzeeeeeek!!!
Its outer shell was a gleaming platinum, and a long, Y-shaped horn stuck out of its head like a rhinoceros beetle.
If not for that awful screeching, I might not have even realized it was a hellroach.
“At this point… isn’t it basically just a giant beetle?”
—Zzzzzzzzzzeeeeeek!!!
Jeez, what a temper.
Even the “Manager-grade” roaches I’d been seeing lately had been terrifying…
But this thing’s size and form? Honestly kind of impressive.
“So this one must be… Deputy Manager-grade, huh.”
Apparently, this “Deputy Manager-grade” hellroach had failed to break through the cactus field I’d recently traded a ton of Hell Clovers to obtain, and collapsed right outside.
Proof that with cacti, the more the better.
But even so…
Ugh. I really didn’t want to go to work today.
“Deputy Manager Joy! Congratulations on your promotion!”
“Woohoo! Even I, Marquius, admit it—you earned it!”
I dragged my heavy feet into the office… only to be bombarded by party poppers.
Pop! Pop!
Bouquets were shoved into my arms one after another, and I swear I almost cried.
Not from joy.
From how depressing this reality was.
I had briefly, foolishly hoped that the “promotion exam” had just been some weird dream I had overnight.
But no—
Sometimes, reality is stranger than dreams.
I was actually a deputy manager now.
“Deputy Joy! Thanks to the bet I placed on you, I’m finally moving into the brand-new Elysium apartments! I knew I was right to believe in you!”
“I, Krauser, am finally getting closer to the instrument I’ve been dreaming of! Had I known this would happen, I would’ve taken out even more loans and doubled down on my bet!”
Everyone seemed to have struck it rich and was living their best lives.
Meanwhile, I was miserable.
Honestly?
If I’d known it’d turn out like this, I never would’ve tried to win that promotion exam.
As I wallowed in regret, Mr. Admetos burst into the office carrying a pile of big boxes.
“Joy! Congratulations on your promotion! These are gifts from our Transport Team.
After hearing the story about me and Alcestis, everyone realized how amazing you are.”
“…Are these—mangoes?!”
“Peaches! I haven’t seen one in a hundred years!”
“This reminds me of when I was alive… Eating all kinds of fruits… good times…”
They were fruits from the surface—something rarely seen in the Soul Society.
Mr. Admetos, the Transport Team Manager, scratched his nose.
“When you work at Charon Transport, you get to bring back surface fruits all the time. Go ahead, share ’em with everyone. And Joy—if you ever need anything from the surface, just ask me!”
Thump thump!
He beat his chest proudly.
He might be small, but that man had guts.
Just as I was thinking that, Marquius from the Transport Team raised an eyebrow.
“Hey, Admetos, didn’t we agree not to fetch surface goods willy-nilly? It’s technically smuggling, you know. If you get caught, your whole career’s down the drain.”
“Hah! I’m already a ‘forever manager’ who’ll never get promoted. That’s my fate—and I’ve accepted it!
So, Joy, got anything you want from the surface?”
Something I want?
…Not really.
Accidental or not, a deputy manager’s salary was way higher than I expected.
You could get almost anything in the Soul Society at that pay grade.
That’s when Krauser chimed in.
“What about bringing underground items up to the surface?”
“To the surface? As long as it passes customs, sure.
Of course, someone like me can sneak in even an ‘Unfired Thunderbolt if I have to!”
Why the heck would anyone want to send an Unfired Thunderbolt to the surface?
Sounds terrifying.
Still… it was a tempting offer.
Maybe I could send a letter to Mom.
But what would I even write?
“Here in Happy World, where hellroaches crawl, sulfur rain falls from the ceiling, and skulls and ghosts are everywhere… I suffer endlessly.”
‘…Yeah, maybe that’s one of those letters better left unsent.’
For the record, the fruits Admetos gave me were shared with everyone in the office.
We all reminisced about the surface.
Even Chief Bones, whose face was literally just a skull, started crying big, ghostly tears.
“Ah… the good old days!”
# #
The Headquarters was located in the deepest, lowest part of Soul Society.
It looked like the Parthenon, only massive—its walls were covered in gold, marble, and ivory.
The floors were carpeted in velvet so rare, even my salary wouldn’t buy a single square inch.
And it was all embroidered with golden thread.
Tap tap! Tap!
Skeleton guards armed in shining armor and spears stood on alert in every corner.
It made sense—this place had the tightest security in all of Soul Society.
Float float—
Entering HQ required all sorts of complicated procedures…
—Whooo, whooo…!
—Whooo…!
But my Ghost Carpet apparently counted as some kind of all-access pass.
The terrifying guards didn’t even stop me—they just opened the doors.
Which… was the problem.
‘I didn’t even want to come here!’
Why was I here?
Because I ended the competition ranked first in the betting pool—
Which meant a mandatory interview with the CEO (「CEO」).
I wanted to turn and run.
Even executives feared the CEO.
A regular person like me wouldn’t last ten seconds without having a heart attack.
“Ha! Joy, what are you doing here?!”
Stomp stomp stomp—!
Someone ran up and whacked me on the shoulder. Hard.
Ouch.
I looked up… and saw horns.
“I got it! You’re here because you want that torn-up contract back, right? Well, good news—I prepared a new one! Just sign here, and you’ll officially be an employee of Helven Company!”
“Astarote, I already told you—I’d never work there, even if I died.”
“You’re a true demon in my eyes! I will bring you into Helven Company.
Just wait! There’s gonna be a massive audit at your Happy World soon!
Nya-ha-ha-ha!”
“Team Leader! Let’s go eat lunch!”
“You’re paying today again, right?!”
“Wha—? O-of course! Coming!”
Looks like Team Leader Astarote, who used to feel out of place as a transfer, had finally gotten chummy with her team.
I’d have to dig deeper to know the full story…
But honestly?
I didn’t have the energy to care right now.
I was… not okay.
Why, you ask?
Because the Chairman’s Office—just off the first-floor lobby—
was wide open.
I peeked inside and spotted a fearsome man sitting dead center, scowling with an already terrifying face twisted into something even more menacing—like a stone guardian statue come to life.
His long black hair hung down in thick curtains like a cape.
Eyes burning with fire.
Muscles bulging beneath his tailored suit, to the point that just looking at him was overwhelming.
【Kronos’ Eldest Son】
【One of the Triumvirate Gods】
【The CEO】
【God of Soul Society – Hades】
Talk to that guy?
I may have risked my life to get fired, but even I had my limits.
This wasn’t getting fired—this was straight-up suicide.
“Stop dawdling and get in here!”
A voice like thunder erupted from inside.
It felt like a bomb went off next to my ears.
Startled, I stumbled into the room—
And found stacks upon stacks of paperwork towering like temple columns.
If my workload as a deputy manager was already insane…
Then the CEO of Soul Society? Unimaginable.
“Sit anywhere.”
Sitting face-to-face with the CEO, I realized just how massive he was.
Maybe it was the blood of the Titan Kronos, maybe just muscle—but the man was easily twice my size.
Even the pen in his hand looked more like a club.
Please don’t use that to bash my skull in.
—How dare you lay a hand on my daughter? Lightning Strike of Wrath!
With a single hit, I’d be reduced to dust.
I sat there in total silence, paralyzed with fear.
Then suddenly, a familiar voice shouted from behind me.
“If you’re inviting a guest, the least you could do is offer them a drink, nya!
This Melinoi knows for a fact that the fridge is stocked, nya!
And for the record, I, Melinoi, am just a newbie with no connection whatsoever to the CEO, nya!”
“…What!?”
My whole body froze.
A nymph—just appeared out of nowhere!
“W-WHAT!?”
The CEO was just as shocked.
His voice boomed like an earthquake erupting right in my face—
My ears were ringing.
“────!!”
“──!!”
What… are they saying?
Can’t hear a thing…
Wait, why is my vision going dark?
Am I… am I having a heart attack?
The last thing I saw before blacking out…
was the CEO pulling a bag of candy from his drawer.
# #
“Gah! Nymph! Candy!”
I snapped awake with a jolt.
Had I… dozed off on the world’s comfiest couch?
Rustle, rustle…
The CEO was still sitting there, calmly signing paperwork as if nothing had happened.
And in front of me, Lady Melinoe sipped her tea with poise and elegance.
As if none of it had ever occurred.
“Deputy Manager Joy, a nymph? You’re imagining things.
There’s no way a nymph could be in Headquarters.
And even less chance there’d be candy lying around for them.
You must’ve just had a weird dream. Hehehe…”
Lady Melinoe gave me a radiant smile—
Which quickly turned neutral.
“Besides, it’s not like you’d dream of nymphs, right?
After all, you hate them. And people don’t dream about what they hate… right?”
“…Excuse me? He hates nymphs?”
Thud!
The CEO froze mid-signature.
Rumble…
The entire building began to shake.
“You nymph-hating scoundrel!”
Apparently, disliking nymphs was a BIG no-no.
He looked furious.
My survival instincts went haywire—I dropped flat onto the floor.
“…It’s not that I hate them! I just… have a complicated personal history!
I actually like them! Really! My first thesis was even on nymph studies!”
“WHAT!? YOU DARE SAY YOU LIKE NYMPHS!?”
CRRRACK—!!
The walls split.
Gold dust rained down from the ceiling.
“Agh! I-Is that… Conqueror’s Haki?!”
“Did Prince Zagreus run away to the surface again?!”
“It must be Typhon trying to resurrect!”
Wait, what?
Typhon-level fury??
Somehow… he seemed even more enraged than when I said I hated nymphs.
Which meant—
This was… an opportunity.
“I humbly beg forgiveness for offending the CEO!
This is a grave sin—one deserving of harsh punishment!
If you see fit to reprimand me, I will accept it willingly!”
I pressed my forehead to the floor in full-body prostration.
This was my shot—if I angered him enough, I could get fired!
“Please… fire me!”
An honest, desperate plea from a desperate man.
Lady Melinoe chuckled softly.
“Joy, you think they’d fire someone over something like that?
Disliking or liking nymphs…
The Soul Society isn’t that irrational.”
“Not a big deal, huh?! I’m furious!
The last time I was this mad was when your brother Zagreus grabbed me by the collar and said he was running away from home!”
Runaway? Collar-grabbing? What kind of chaotic household is this?
I wanted to plug my ears.
Maybe even faint again.
But just then, Melinoe’s smile faded.
“Dad, enough jokes. Zagreus never ran away from home.
That never happened.
We’ve always been… one big happy family, remember?”
A heavy silence fell.
Then Melinoe gracefully rose from her seat.
“Well, I’ll go get our guest something to drink.
You two can chat while I’m gone.”
Swoosh—
She vanished through the wall like a ghost.
Now, it was just me and the CEO.
Alone.
The air felt thick and suffocating…
But then, unexpectedly, he spoke in a calm voice.
“As you can see, my family is… normal.
And like any normal family, we’ve got our small issues.
But we’re all too busy to resolve them.”
Uh…
Not small.
And definitely not normal.
But I couldn’t say that.
“That’s why, Deputy Manager Joy, I’d like to entrust you with something.
It’s personal—unrelated to work.
It’s about someone in my family.”
Someone…
Could it be about Princess Melinoe?
Or Prince Zagreus, the famed runaway?
“It’s about my wife.”
Oh.
Wrong on both counts.
Didn’t expect that.
“She hasn’t returned from her parents’ home in years.”
Okay.
Yeah.
That’s… actually serious.
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