Chapter 2

S—In hindsight, it was only natural. The moment the old eunuch Yuma returned to the past with his memories intact, the timeline had already begun to change.

According to Yuma’s memories, they had never heard in advance that a knight would be visiting.

“Maria told me. Let’s go see the knight tomorrow. Ask for an evaluation, maybe even get a lesson. Who knows? We might even get a recommendation!”

SS—A recommendation… sure. For becoming a eunuch or a squire, maybe.

Malon’s case had been an unusual one. He’d become a squire through Mero’s personal recommendation.

During a minor territorial conflict with Haseo, Malon had saved Mero’s life on the battlefield, drawing the attention of House Zak.

Traditionally, a commoner who became a knight’s squire was meant to serve that knight until the knight’s death.

But House Zak—recognizing Malon’s divine talent—forcefully took him from Mero and adopted him into their family.

“Will the knight even agree to see us? He’s just here to rest. Let’s not bother him.”

“What are you saying?! When else would we meet a knight in a backwater dump like this?!”

This was bad.

The name of the knight who had recommended Yuma to become a eunuch… was Mero. A knight so worthless, there wasn’t a single redeeming thing about him.

After becoming a eunuch, Yuma had looked into everything about Mero. He’d been conscripted into war as a regular foot soldier and happened to earn the title of knight by sheer luck—cutting off an enemy commander’s head during battle.

Though officially recognized as a “knight,” he was never qualified to serve the royal court.

In the entire history of the Empire, he might’ve been the luckiest knight ever. He wasn’t even at the level of a Sword Expert, let alone a Swordmaster.

“Do we really have to go? We can just learn from Uncle Haka. And besides, if you go to the capital, what happens to me and Uncle?”

Mero was someone Malon could easily overpower in a one-on-one duel. No—not just overpower, completely crush.

But Yuma had no intention of seeing Malon turned into a eunuch. And if Malon even received so much as a eunuch recommendation, there was currently no way to prevent it.

“Uncle never teaches properly. And you’re better with a sword than I am, so you have a better shot. Anyway, we’re going. That’s final.”

“No, we’re not!”

Yuma shot up and yelled.

Malon blinked in surprise. This wasn’t like the Yuma he knew—someone who’d usually be more excited than him to go meet a knight.

“What’s wrong?”

“I had a bad dream last night, okay? Trust me, it’s best we don’t meet that knight.”

“Did you eat something weird? Are you sick?”

“No, I’m serious! In the dream, some knight came out of nowhere and chopped off both our dicks. It was vivid. Horrifying.”

“Our what?”

“Our junk, man. So let’s just stay home tomorrow, alright? Uncle’s still mad. We should lay low for a while, read a book or two. Reflect.”

Malon frowned, clearly conflicted.

“Our junk…? Damn. Guess we have no choice then. Let’s go the day after tomorrow.”

“You little—”

“Huh?”

“…Never mind.”

Yuma couldn’t sleep at all that night.

Although they had agreed to wait a day, the next afternoon, Yuma was forced to face Mero himself—who showed up uninvited at Haka’s house.

Mero was seated at a wooden table, sipping tea with Haka.

He made all sorts of slurping and smacking noises while drinking. Malon was sitting nearby, staring at Mero with bright, hopeful eyes.

“Come on, greet him. This is Sir Mero.”

“Good day, sir!”

Malon bowed at a perfect ninety degrees, shouting with energy.

Yuma’s stomach churned at the sight of Mero’s greasy face. The memories of the day he became a eunuch came flooding back.

“Aha, you must be the boy who bashed that Kage fellow.”

Mero’s voice was dripping with fake dignity.

He stroked his mustache while looking Malon over. He was wearing armor—not his everyday clothes—just to show off that he was a knight.

It was so blatantly obvious it made Yuma feel secondhand embarrassment.

“…I apologize for that. I failed to raise him properly.”

“Haha! No worries, no worries. Boys will be boys. I heard Kage made the first mistake anyway.”

Haka kept his cool, knowing there was nothing to gain from antagonizing a knight.

Yuma, meanwhile, was dying to castrate Mero on the spot—but clenched his fists instead.

He couldn’t afford to upset Mero. Yuma wasn’t the Empress Hella Roze’s favored eunuch anymore. He was just a sixteen-year-old peasant.

“Kage’s an old friend of mine. Though, these days, calling him a friend might be a stretch. He could’ve made it out of this dump if he’d tried harder… but it’s too late for him now. Hehehe!”

It was a sickeningly vile way of speaking.

Yuma recalled the future clearly: ten years from now, Mero would still be swaggering around, having never earned a single medal—only lording over peasants.

Even among knights from commoner backgrounds, going ten years without so much as a low-ranking medal was practically unheard of. In the entire history of the Empire, you could count such cases on one hand.

Most knights at least received a basic military commendation, no matter how lacking their skills.

But Mero wasn’t entirely useless.

The fact that he’d survived ten years of battlefield shame, political intrigue, and power struggles—even as a lowly foot knight—meant he was tougher than he looked.

That’s why he earned the ironically infamous nickname:

“Immortal Mero”.

If survival equaled strength, then Mero was strong—just in the ugliest way.

“So… who are you?”

“Ah, my name is Yuma. Sorry for the late greeting. It’s just, this is my first time seeing a real knight up close…”

Yuma bowed his head deeply.

After spending decades navigating palace life, he knew this much for sure:

When dealing with someone more powerful, following your feelings would only get you beaten or worse.

“Bwahaha! You’ve got a silver tongue, don’t you? Makes sense. You don’t get to see a real knight like me in a dump like this!”

Mero roared with laughter. Haka struggled not to laugh for entirely different reasons.

Despite Mero’s flashy full-plate armor, it couldn’t hide the bulging fat or awful posture that made it clear: this man was no true warrior.

Haka and Yuma figured that if they flattered him enough, Mero would spout a few exaggerated war stories and leave.

Originally, Mero had come to confront them about the Kage incident. But seeing Haka’s humble attitude and the kids’ starstruck eyes, he dropped it.

And then…

Mero’s tales of glory went on for a full hour.

“…So there I was, right? The enemy commander had already torn through our front lines. He was an incredible swordsman. But I—this body—threw myself into his path, ready to die. Bam! Blocked him with everything I had. That battle? We won because of me.”

Of course, it was all a lie.

The Battle of Hadis had ended anticlimactically due to a misfire from the enemy’s own magical bombardment. Mero had merely stumbled upon the barely-breathing enemy commander and taken his head for the kill count.

His title of knight came later—thanks to his gift of gab.

Even Haka, who didn’t know the future like Yuma did, could tell it was pure bluster.

And enduring Mero’s spit-flecked boasts, with exaggerated names and places thrown in for flavor, was getting more painful by the second.

“A-Amazing, Sir Mero!”

But to young Malon, who idolized knights with all his heart, none of it sounded like a lie.

The overly ornate armor—prioritizing flash over function—looked to Malon like the symbol of a self-made commoner’s success.

“Kekek! I like you kids. Heard you’ve been learning swordsmanship. How about giving me a little demo, eh?”

Mero stood up with flair, puffing himself up.

Haka opened his mouth to protest, but Malon was already nodding so hard it looked like his head might fall off.

Yuma, though a mentally mature man who had regressed from old age, understood—Malon was still just a boy. Of course he’d be excited.

“My kids’ swordsmanship isn’t even worth calling that, Sir Mero. You’d only be hurting your eyes. Let’s leave it be.”

Haka tried to end it quickly, clearly anxious.

Nothing good would come from getting entangled with a man like Mero. If Malon injured him—or worse, defeated him—it wouldn’t end well.

No one hated this situation more than Yuma.

Malon would definitely give it his all, hoping to impress. And if he did… Mero didn’t stand a chance.

“No, no! He’s so eager—I’d be honored to give the lad a little sparring session. Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle! Wouldn’t want to hurt him!”

Mero was already walking toward the open lot outside, carrying Yuma’s wooden sword.

Yuma grabbed Malon’s shoulder as he rushed after him. So did Haka.

“You absolutely must not win.”

Haka whispered it before Yuma could.

“What are you talking about? How could I beat a knight?”

“Don’t argue. Just lose. Whatever you do—don’t win.”

“But seriously, Dad—how could I even beat a knight?!”

“Listen, kid. If you win, your little friend down there? Say goodbye to it.”

“…What is wrong with everyone today?!”

Malon walked out to the lot with a face that screamed total confusion.

Mero was stretching in overly theatrical motions, grunting strange sounds like, “Hup-cha! Hup-cha!”

“If Malon beats that moron… we’re in trouble,” Haka muttered.

“Exactly, Uncle.”

“…Wait. How do you know he’s a moron?”

“Oh, you can just tell. He’s laying it on way too thick. Even I’m surprised. That guy’s a knight?”

And to think—this joke of a knight would survive the next ten years without dying. Because of him, Yuma had lost everything—his body, his manhood.

But he couldn’t say that now.

Mero and Malon faced off, exchanging polite bows before the match. The contrast was stark—Mero in polished plate armor, Malon in worn, patched-up cloth.

“You there—how about you?” Mero said, glancing at Yuma.

Yuma quickly waved both hands and put on a scared expression.

“Haha! Now that’s a real difference in spirit! You’re clearly knight material. That other one? Probably a future eunuch!”

It was a joke.

But Yuma silently vowed that one day—just like in the original timeline—he would kill Mero with his own two hands.

“Come at me, then. Let’s see what you’ve learned!”

“I’ll do my best!” Malon shouted, taking his stance.